Oblong Cassidy and His Space Horse

Mashed Taters on a Stick

I don’t care if you say you got flavors
I don’t care if you made ‘em real thick
I don’t care if they’re Russet or they’re new or they’re brown or they’re green or they’re purple or they’re new
I ain’t eatin’ no mashed taters on a stick

You might think that I’m opposed
To new things, and that it shows
I’m a stick in the mud
Well it’s true

I’ve seen some craziness
And I wasn’t opposed to nearly all of it
But there’s somethin’ horrifyin’ ‘bout a popsicle stick in that goo

You might think that I’m opposed
To new things, and that it shows
I’m a stick in the mud…well it’s true

I’ve seen some craziness
But I wasn’t opposed to nearly all of it
But there’s somethin’ horrifyin’ ‘bout a popsicle stick in that goo
Well there’s somethin’ horrifyin’ and I’m glad I got to share it with you

Queen of Venus

Lately something always seems wrong with me
Can’t make no money and women just won’t talk to me
Got a girl from outer-space who loves me so
She don’t care if my skin ain’t green and eyes don’t glow

I’m gonna rise up like a phoenix
The day I meet the Queen of Venus
She’ll take us far up above the ashes
Our nights we’ll spend in space-age passion

Ten years now gone and we’re still here among the stars
Don’t miss my life back there on Earth with work and cars
The Queen and I have lots of kids their number grows
Their skin’s some color we ain’t found, and their eyes all glow

I’m gonna rise up like a phoenix
The day I meet the Queen of Venus
She’ll take us far up above the ashes
Our nights we’ll spend in space-age passion

Shudder

Don’t even breath the next shudder may be your last
Since you’re paying now for some things in the past
You only got ten minutes ‘til you’re gone
Suppose that’s long enough to think on what you’ve done?

Oh quit lookin’ at me that way
Keep the blindfold on and you’ll be okay

Now you’ll pay
For makin’ me look like a fool
I can’t really blame you
For what I’m about to do
Unfortunately you’re the last in a long line
Of folks who have wasted
Just about all of my time

Don’t even breath the next shudder may be your last
Don’t even breath the next shudder may be your last
Don’t even breath the next shudder may be your last
Don’t even breath the next shudder may be your last

Rambler

You keep saying something, but I can’t hear you
‘Cuz I’ve clearly lost my mind

And I’d be telling myself it’s alright
‘Cept for I don’t have the time

It’s funny how things change the more they
Never seem to always stay the same

And I don’t want to hang around
To find out what it takes to play the game

You just ramble on
You ramble on and on
You get your tangle on
But I don’t think you hear a damn word I say
That’s okay, I still love you anyway

Water

They’re putting dumbass in the water
And I’m drinkin’ it
Happy Lambs to the slaughter
Think it’s the shit
Thinking for yourself is over
Don’t be a sap
Got to be on the cutting-edge
Of the collapse
Don’t think too much
It’ll just hurt your brain
Playing dumb is the name of the game
It’s a game
And I don’t think I really mind
If this is how it ends
‘Cuz at least I’ll be there in the front row
With all my friends
They’re putting dumbass in the water
And I’m drinkin’ it
Happy Lambs to the slaughter
Think it’s the shit
Don’t think too much
It’ll just hurt your brain
Playing dumb is the name of the game
It’s a game

Tutu Ninja (of Garland Rd)

Vigilante or Archetype?
Often seen by Edie and I
Just a straw in the wind perhaps?
Identity is still under wraps

Almost always alone
And to motion he’s prone
Pink tights, sunglasses and charm
Ain’t doing no one no harm

Where did he come from, where did he go?
The Tutu Ninja of Garland Road
Last saw him enter a Port-a-Commode
The Tutu Ninja of Garland Road

Often seen at the lake
He’s always sporting a cape
Also a tutu and Chuck’s
I saw him feeding the ducks

Was he man or myth?
He gave us all such a gift
Just seeing him was enough
Or was it all just a bluff?

Where did he come from, where did he go?
The Tutu Ninja of Garland Road
Last saw him enter a Port-a-Commode
The Tutu Ninja of Garland Road

Soft Rock for College Kids

“You wake up and realize…
It’s just Soft Rock for College Kids…”

We’re the first to ever feel this way
Revolution’s coming any day
With torn-up sneakers and some groovy hair
Seems like we’re the first to really care

Went to the record store today
Crowd inside made me turn away
Soccer Moms and Joe Lunchpail
Mini-van, Dave Matthews, Instant Fail

Soft Rock for College Kids
Instant Salvation Identity Kit
Faces change but it’s all the same
Still can’t dance to it ‘less you’re totally lame

“Sneaking across campus from Nite-Caps
Nervous Anticipation in the Quadrangle
Twenty-five cent beer, Whispering failed poetry in her ear
Hoping the Radio dj can get you in her room
Then you wake up and realize…
It’s just Soft Rock for College Kids”

What’s this? In my face?
It’s reality stinging just like mace
Always said history was cyclical
Well, I’m here to tell ‘em it’s all just Bu-u-u-ullllshitttttttt

Soft Rock for College Kids
Instant Salvation Identity Kit
Faces change but it’s all the same
Still can’t dance to it ‘less you’re totally lame

The Ballad of Greaseball and Dicknose

Greaseball and Dicknose took a trip to fist city
Squared off in the bathroom
Spared the world no pity

Greaseball told his papa
I’m gonna make you proud
Taking care of Dicknose
Gonna make him scream loud

Dicknose told his mama
I never been a saint
Getting tired of Greasy
Gonna punch him in the taint
(Sweet and salty taint)

The Porcelain was the witness
The urinal was the judge
Greaseball tried to run
But the crowd wouldn’t budge

Dicknose started punching for all that he was worth
Greaseball made a sound like a devil come to earth

The Girls started crying when he poked him in the eye
Dicknose didn’t stop though the blood did fly

Dicknose denim jacket was dotted with red
Greaseball took his math book and he smashed
him in the head

Greaseball told his mama
Now don’t you go and faint
But a guy named dicknose just punched me in the taint
(Sweet and salty taint)

Thirty years later in a Walmart store
Greaseball hears a man say, “Die, You Whore!”
Turns around, much to his surprise
Stands Dicknose holding Charmin 3-plys
Dicknose says, “Buddy, I never been a saint,
But I never punched a finer man in the taint.”
(Sweet and salty taint)

Hundred Dollar Sleestak

With hug and a kiss
You give a little hiss
Your love’s worth every dime

Skin that’s so cool
Make me feel like a fool
Take it slow
It’s worth it every time

Got a hundred dollar Sleestak
A hundred dollar Sleestak
Hundred Dollar Sleestak
And knockin’ boots on my mind

Waltz with you back in time
Routine expedition feels so fine
That earthquake didn’t seem so great to me

Waltz with you back in time
My how those pylons shine
There’s tears in your black pool eyes when I leave

“It is an elementary deduction
We have fallen through an interdimensional doorway
Beware of the Sleestak. Reptilian-minded creatures
driven by fear and ignorance
Their hostile and aggressive thoughts fog and
distort our telepathic amplifiers
(Their stringent cologne stings our eyes)”

Waltz with you back in time
Routine expedition feels so fine
That earthquake didn’t seem so great to me

Sugar Drawers

A first class life was all she ever wanted
But her family tree was just a bit haunted
Not much room for wishin’ and hopin’
Step daddy cousins, gropin ‘ and dopin’

As soon as she was able she up and left Sedona
In a 55 Ford with a gal named Mona

Sugar Drawers, Sugar Drawers
You’re breaking all the laws
Take a pause, for the cause
Sugar Drawers

Walk the macho side of frilly
Shake the dew right off the lily
Take a pause for the cause
Sugar Drawers

Muling junk for Sweet Donald’s Krewe
Life’s a grand old party ‘til you turn blue
Was a tragic end to a five day bender
With Sasha Valentine and Big Booty Linda
You can’t outrun a hellbound train
Found her at the bottom of
Lake Pontchartrain

Sugar Drawers, Sugar Drawers
You’re breaking all the laws
Take a pause, for the cause
Sugar Drawers

Take a pause, for the cause
Sugar Drawers

The Ballad of Oblong Cassidy and His Space Horse

Oblong Cassidy was ridin’ the other day
Eatin’ psychedelics and flyin’ away
Oblong Cassidy is high as a kite
Levitating quickly at the speed of light

He found himself on the top of the sun
That’s when the Spacehorse started to run
Ran so fast they got a little spastic
Started to trip the light fantastic

Oblong Cassidy and His Spacehorse
They’re a little off-kilter, but always on course
Oblong Cassidy That’s what I said
Oblong Cassidy a Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah….

Ol’ Stompy crankin’ out the rhyme
Spacehorse bass thunderin’ in time
Ramble Campbell’s steel guitar
Electrified Moonshine in a lightnin’ jar

B.A.’s washboard 3 Three chord attack
Sellin’ poetry to a Hundred dollar Sleestak
Reverend Boom Boom ain’t takin’ no shit
Smashin’ drums and flippin’ the script

Oblong Cassidy and His Spacehorse
They’re a little off-kilter, but always on course
Oblong Cassidy That’s what I said
Oblong Cassidy a Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah….

On count with the Krakowski two
Red Rooster Telecaster right on cue
Nemesis, Water, Made in Japan,
Sleestak, Uncle, Texas Ranger Man

Starry-eyed Headhunter in Prison Walls,
The Ballad of Dicknose and the Greaseball
Raton, Taters, Feelin’ Psycho
Dancin’ with a Honky Tonk Camel Toe

Oblong Cassidy and His Spacehorse
They’re a little off-kilter, but always on course
Oblong Cassidy That’s what I said
Oblong Cassidy a Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah….

Prison Walls

A Reality Tunnel
Eight Days a Week
Created by an Evil Genius
Whose name I dare not speak

True it is a bit of comfort
Not gonna lie
Won’t be so cozy
On the day that I die…because

The Prison Walls are coming down now, it’s true
Placed there by me and not by you
Or some other great force of the universe
Fabricated by me for (baby) what it’s worth

Can’t blame Roger Waters
Won’t blame my pops
Or the many institutions
Bosses, and cops

Tweak your brain chemistry
See if that helps
Still gotta get dirty
Program Your Self…because

The Prison Walls are coming down now, it’s true
Placed there by me and not by you
Or some other great Force of the universe
Fabricated by me for (baby) what it’s worth